Art is not only a passion or profession for me, but also an act of awareness, that allows me to feel the intensity, of living moment to moment. In the presence of art, my life has progressed through many interesting dimensions from childhood until now. As a brief introduction, I want to share some significant things about my artistic journey.
An artistic mind is filled with beautiful feelings like love, compassion, and gratitude when there is respectful acceptance and open freedom for its expressions. On the contrary, when artistic expressions are suppressed by some reasons, negative energy starts to rise in the mind.
I have personally experienced both of these situations in my life. I have had a natural fascination with art since childhood, but during my school days, up until the 10th grade, art did not receive as much significance and prestige as other subjects. As a result, my interest in art did not gain the respect and acceptance it deserved. On the other hand, aside from art, I never found my self much interest in other subjects, which led to trivial progress in those areas. Consequently, I failed twice in my school life: once in the 6th grade and again in the 9th grade. I often failed severely, sometimes in five out of six subjects. It wasn't normal to fail like this, so I was bound to be seen as a doomed student. During those days, my self-esteem plummeted, and I was always surrounded by misery and stubborn energy from within.
When we are in anguish internally, our thoughts and behavior naturally become negative and disruptive to others. During that time, I became a living example of how a child or student should not be. This cycle continued from the 5th to the 10th grade.
However, after the 10th grade, the situation changed dramatically. By chance, I had the opportunity to pursue higher education in art. Due to my natural interest in art, the process of learning it became a joyous journey for me, which continues to this day as a professional artist. in presence of art my confused personality gradually resolved itself from within, which began to reflect in my thoughts and behavior. Day by day, my nature became balanced, and my social behavior grew more affectionate. In a sense, art played the role of meditation in my life. Just as meditation leads a person to spiritual enlightenment by elevating them, I started experiencing a similar feeling through art. I developed a keen interest in the study and practice of art, and coming top of my class and winning competitions became quite common. I was seen as an ideal student, and my social self-respect reached its pinnacle. from external point of view, I worked hard for it. but the secret is, it's a effortless and playful journey with art.
Today, when I look back at my artistic journey, I see monetary benefits, accolades, and prominence as consequences of success through my art. However, for me, the greatest and most meaningful achievement is that I become acquainted with the goodness inside me every day.
The reason for sharing all this is to illustrate how my attitude toward art became resolved and firm.
The process of art’s evolution as taught through the history of art, usually shapes our attitude toward art, and we strive to be a part of that developmental process. it become a kind of compulsion.
From my experiences, I have realized that the action that unites your entire existence in the present moment is the most precious action of your life. During that action, you are filled with a sense of self-actualization and serenity, feeling non-dual and cohesive. If the process of painting which you are working in, become worship for you and the achievements remains just byproductivity of it. Then that's a sacred form of art for you.
I always feel that the painting style and subject matter I work with bring me closer to this divine feeling of 'Karma Yoga'. From a historical point of view, I don't know what I am contributing to the development of art through my working style, but I certainly know the importance of my work in my self-transformation.
In conclusion, I want to honestly admit, that I don't find myself motivated to achieve external goals. Which set by society, at the cost of losing my own self... The essence of my journey is.
"My interest in art does not belong to external changes but to internal transformation."
"I love to paint because act of painting increases my ability to love."